i can't fucking sleep!!! how can i ever sleep in the first place when there are evil voices in my head telling me to make a fucking great fool of myself by showing this guy that i "love" him.. *screams to death*

i just did thought. i opened my email account and to my non-surprise. He didn't show up in my inbox. I don't know what had happened to him. Did he die in the war or something, or did he just let me figure that he was just making it as an excuse that he's not interested in me anymore just because i refused to make another nude video of myself and send it to him as if i don't know that he showed those to his fellow soldiers coz they've been celibate for like eons and their penises need some hole to feel the emptiness inside.

yah. i already figured. he got tired of me. shit. after all those sweet nothings!!! i can't believe i fell for that. he told me i'm a fucking wonderful person. yeah! wonderful my ass!!! i was right all along. i shouldn't have believed that there's something magical between the two of us. it was just sex all along.. no more, no less.

GOD HOW DID I BECOME TO GET SO FUCKING STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!